A Whole New Look at Drug Rehab

/ apronsandappetites.com / 9 Comments

If your family has ever dealt with a loved one who is addicted to alcohol or drugs, then my heart goes out to you; my compassion and empathy is profound.  An addict will sell themselves, give up their children, cut off ties with family, and wander from place to place or live in the streets and alleyways.  Their thoughts have been in drug mode for so long they don’t know how to think normal thoughts anymore.  They don’t know how to “pull themselves up by the bootstraps” and get clean.

It’s not because they don’t want to.  Their self-loathing is immense; their pain from the disappointment of losing themselves and sometimes their families is deep.  The uphill climb to “clean” is a monstrous mountain to them that seems so gigantic that they fail before they even begin the first ascent.

Does the drug abuse come from undiagnosed mental illness?  Did it begin with casual use as a young person and then became the demon-clawed monkey on their backs?  Was it some horrible experience that first drew them to the escape from real life into the fantasy life of drugs or alcohol?

The reason isn’t important.  The overcoming is.  The ability to live the rest of their lives without the use of drugs or alcohol is what matters, not the whys.

Teen Challenge

Teen Challenge is a place for these lost souls, these hopeless people, to be saved.  Quite literally.  Here is their mission statement:

“To provide youth, adults and families with an effective and comprehensive Christian faith-based solution to life-controlling drug and alcohol problems in order to become productive members of society. By applying biblical principles, Teen Challenge endeavors to help people become mentally-sound, emotionally-balanced, socially-adjusted, physically-well, and spiritually-alive.”

It is not for those who aren’t ready to climb up out of the pit, nor is it for those looking for an easy road to sobriety.  This program is the hardest thing any person will probably ever do in their lifetime for themselves.  From day one there is no smoking, no foul talk, no talk of the street, no disrespecting the counselors… the list goes on and on.  From day one there is a work ethic in place, a hygiene standard, an accountability practiced… just a few of the things used to build self-worth.

The program is about one year and can be all the way to two years.  The men (the median age is 35) sleep in bunk beds with their clothes and shoes and personal items neatly in place, and those beds made up military style of the mornings which begins around 5:30 or so.  They have work details, jobs in the community, for which they are not paid.  They are immersed in Bible study and surrounded by encouraging people.  They are required to dress in accordance with the dress code and go to church regularly.

This program is not for sissies.  This program works.

Prison costs about $23,000 a year to house an inmate; Teen Challenge is less than half that.  My question to judges, both state and federal, is why are you not utilizing this program?  The fact that it is based on voluntary entry and the person is able to leave at any time is always the excuse used when sentencing an addict to prison instead of Teen Challenge.  But that is no issue in reality.  If  the person leaves,  then it’s off to prison.

The rigorous routine at Teen Challenge serves only to enhance the lives of those who stay, creating persons with skills and abilities to stay sober.  The atmosphere in a prison serves only to degrade even further an already beaten man/woman, offering nothing more than a housing unit until they are released.  Being ordered to Teen Challenge is a win-win situation.  The offender makes it through the program and lives a productive life:  society wins.  The offender leaves the program and is then sent to prison: society still wins.

Why not give that person a chance?  Why not see if this person can be in the statistical group of graduates, as they are called, who never go back to drugs?  Why not?

Here is the web site to learn more of Teen Challenge: http://teenchallengeusa.com/

 

The Day After…

/ apronsandappetites.com / 3 Comments

Valentine’s Day has come and gone… once again.  And every year there are romantic stories, funny stories, odd gifts, sensible gifts, comfortable scenarios, exciting scenarios.

I’m curious to know what you all did.  Was it one of these perhaps?

give or receive flowers

give or receive a pet? spend time with your pet?

shop for furniture together... or by yourself?

take your sweet thing to one of these places?

go on a cruise or other mini-vacation?

get engaged? give or receive a piece of jewelry?

get married!?!?!?!?

take your beloved out for a romantic evening?

plan a, um, uh, romantic evening?

This year right smack dab on the day, I received a lovely card and letters and got to spend time with little Ava.  Then I took off with my sis  to pick up the dining room chairs Kate and I bought the other day.

Yeah, that’s right.  Dar was with me on Valentine’s Day evening.  Dave and Darla have been married for, let’s see, almost 40 years.  That’s a lot of Valentine’s Days.  And they did say Happy Valentine’s Day that morning.  At least Dar said it to Dave.  She wasn’t sure he heard her.  He’s in the middle of working on the house, and his good buddy, Johnny, was coming over for a full day of work, so he was busy getting things ready to go.

Yep, it was just a good Valentine’s Day this year.

It’s Today!!

/ apronsandappetites.com / 1 Comment

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY

Love is patient and kind;

Love is not jealous or boastful;

It is not arrogant or rude.

Love does not insist on its own way;

It is not irritable or resentful;

It does not rejoice at wrong,

But rejoices in the right.

Love bears all things,

Believes all things,

Hopes all things.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

The Love Story of Jack and Charlene

/ apronsandappetites.com / 1 Comment

Jack and Charlene

Here, in Jack’s own words, is how the day of their wedding began:

“It was a cold, wet day on January 13, 1947, on a Monday morning that I drove from our home on Eagle Creek to Charlene’s home to get her.  Then we went to John and Reba Bradley’s home near Junction.  They were going with us to Morganfield, Kentucky, to witness our wedding.  I had a 1939 Ford car which had over a 100,000 miles showing.  No telling how many times the speedometer had been run back.  It was the last year that Ford had placed the shift lever on top of the transmission extending from the floor.  For some reason that I can’t remember, Charlene and I went through Equality on our way to get John and Reba.  When we went to approach Route 13, I hit the shifting lever to put it in second gear, and the shifting lever came out of the transmission and fell in the floor on Charlene’s side of the car.  By this time I was out on the highway.  The transmission had shifted into second gear before the lever came out or at the same time.  I thought about driving on to John and Reba’s in second gear, then I noticed the entrance to Pekin Coal Mine, so I turned in.   I picked up the shift lever and put it back down in the transmission.  I held the clutch pedal down and started the engine and gently shifted from second to first gear.  It worked okay, so we went on our way.  Every time I had to shift, I did it gently.”

Jack and Charlene Martin

Jack and Charlene raised three children together over their 50-some years together.   She had a stroke and for many years Jack was a gentle and loving caretaker before she went home to be with their Lord, leaving Jack behind.

Here are Darla’s words of her father-in-law’s care for his wife while she was in the nursing home:

“Jack was always so kind….he loved and cared for her until the end.  One day I was sitting in the sunroom at Fountain View with him and her, and he was taking lotion and dotting a Kleenex with lotion, working at getting the dry skin off of her face.  It was like time had stopped for a second.  And when I looked around, everyone was watching..a nurse, other visitors and residents of the nursing home. It was right then that I knew why she was still here (because at this time in her life she had lost her speech).  So others could see Jesus’ love through Jack Martin caring for his wife. “

I loved Charlene Martin and I love Jack Martin.  They were one of the best examples of God’s plan for marriage that I have ever seen; as well as two of the best examples of the word Christian.

And they were one heck of an example of a great love story!

My Sis and Her New Hubby… 1973

/ apronsandappetites.com / 6 Comments

Darla - March 31, 1973

Way back on March 31, 1973, my sister and her boyfriend were married.  Bill Rister was just beginning to try his hand at picture-taking, so he was pressed into service for the photos.

Dad and Darla coming down the aisle

It was a hard-earned wedding since Mom and Dad weren’t particularly fond of Dave.  He had long hair and played in a band and lived in Jane Strong’s basement.  It must have helped that he cut his hair.

Jack Hall was the minister.

Here are some of Darla’s words about being married:

It was March 31, 1973.   I was a senior in high school.  The Monday morning that followed that weekend I found myself in Geography class being called on to write my name on the blackboard as an example for some illustration.  I didn’t write Darla Rutherford (who I had been for the past 17 years) I wrote Darla Martin.  I had gotten married that weekend at the First Baptist Church in Shawneetown.  Some memorable things I will never forget:  My colors were centered around my best friend’s prom dress that she was going to wear for the bridesmaid dress, my wedding dress was rented, my cake was bought at the IGA bakery, and the person that was supposed to sing cancelled at the last minute and the piano player sang “Color My World”.  (As I’m writing this…I’m wondering where my sister was…that is a mystery to me).  Now, 39 years later….I love this man more than I did the day I married him.  He loves Jesus, loves his wife, and loves his family.

Churnie and Amy Rutherford, Darla and Dave Martin, Charlene and Jack Martin

Nancy Strong was Darla’s best friend… and this is her prom/wedding dress.

Nancy as the lovely maid of honor

Dennis Charleton and Mom

Not sure who the young boy is, but the other two are Dave's mom and dad

My Mom was escorted down the aisle by Dave’s friend, Dennis.  As I look at these pictures, I realize my Mom was 53 and my Dad was just 49.

These pics have been in a small album, that is now falling apart at the seams, since 1973.  Some of the pictures tore as I was trying to remove them.  You can see the ghost-like discoloration on them.

The very next month my daughter, Keely, was born, so I was very pregnant at this time.  It’s not like me to keep a low profile no matter how huge I would have been, so I can only surmise that Darla did not want the bulging belly being seen!!  But I looked very spiffy in my maternity dress with my hair all curled.  Yes, Darla, I was there.

I love the pictures of Dave and Darla feeding each other cake.  They look so prim and proper!

I can't get over how little that cake looks!

She should have taken a class on how to feed cake to your husband

 

The happy married couple... just a couple of kids

The newlyweds with their Maid of Honor Nancy Strong and Best man David Dortch

 

 

 

Commitment

/ apronsandappetites.com / 8 Comments

Commitment

                      By Brenda Byassee for the Wedding of Wes and Amanda, 2001

Written as a Tribute to the Marriage of Jack and Charlene Martin

                                                                                                                           

Commitment begins like a spring,

Bubbling gently from the deep recesses of our souls.

It’s that first awareness of love,

A little frightening yet exhilarating.

The first look of recognition as your eyes meet across the room.

It’s that first decision in your heart.

                                                                                                                           

Commitment ever so slowly rises to the surface,

And pools there,

Prodding, pushing, moving, changing

From that first bubbling of the spring into a beautiful pond.

                                                                                                                           

It’s the knowledge that she’s the one;

That certainty that you want to share the rest of your life with him;

That feeling of deep caring and passion;

The seeking of God’s will and God’s ways.

The ripples in the pond of commitment

Stretch and test its boundaries

Causing the growth of a deeper, fuller lake:

Honor, respect, enduring love, forgiving heart, pride in each other.

                                                                                                                           

And so it goes with commitment,

Until one day its ocean waves

Tell the story of those promises kept, trials met,  joys felt,

Love unfolded.

                                                                                                                           

The waves rise strong and fierce

Remembering when two became one.

They pound with passion

Roaring their presence.

                                                                     

Then, settling into a steady, rhythmic roll,

They move swiftly, overlapping,

So busy in their journey:

Children, jobs, conflicts.

                                                                     

Until, finally, they wash gently ashore

As the stronger cares for the weaker,

No longer remembering

There once was two.

Our Wedding Day

/ apronsandappetites.com / 17 Comments

October 17

To James On Our Wedding Day

By Brenda Byassee

And so the morning dawned,
breaking into day.
The music with its melody
had a thousand things to say.
It started with a timid tune,
an underlying current,
of whispered joy and promises.
Nothing could deter it.
The beat became a steady one –
the hushed chords growing stronger
until the song of love sang out,
and they were two no longer.

the happy bride

the happy groom

“There were bells on the hill,
but I never heard them ringing.
No, I never heard them at all…
Till there was you.
There was love all around
But I never heard it singing…
Till there was you.”

our first kiss as Mr. and Mrs.

A Fairytale Love Story: Prince Ranier and Grace Kelly

/ apronsandappetites.com / Leave a comment

Princess Rainer and Princess Grace

In searching for just the right love story, I came upon this blog: Decor To Adore.  She has the most awesome pictures and tells the whole story of Prince Ranier marrying Grace Kelly.  In order to give credit where credit is due, I am not going to write what Decor To Adore has already written but instead will direct you to her blog.  You won’t be disappointed.

I fell in love with Grace Kelly when I was very young.  And as most young girls, was awed and wowed with the story of her moving off to a foreign country to become a princess.  Today, in my years of gained wisdom, I realize it was probably, as Alfred Hitchcock said, one of her best roles.

It doesn’t matter to me.  I still love the love story.

When God Leads You To It…

/ apronsandappetites.com / Leave a comment

Wes and Amanda Martin

This is a great love story!  Amanda fell in love first.  It wasn’t until they were both in Mexico City, Mexico, as they were part of a team from their church doing some ministry down there that Wes fell in love.

He said just after a period of praying that he lifted his head up and there was Amanda.  And he just fell into this huge, engulfing puddle of complete and utter love… which, of course, was Amanda.

The pastors say after that revelation that Wes was pretty useless.  He couldn’t quit with the google-eyed looks of love at his sweetie.

Amanda, on the other hand, knew how Wes was in their relationship.  She wasn’t telling anybody until she knew it was the real thing.  And, well, Wes was telling everyone.  They eventually married and have had some heart-breaking as well as wonderful experiences.

To read all about them, go to their web site:  http://wesleymartin.org/about/

A Loving Story

/ apronsandappetites.com / 1 Comment

TheLovingStoryPoster: to debut February 14

Back in January, right after Martin Luther King, Jr.’s Birthday, this story popped up on Yahoo.  It was perfect for my February month of love stories.  What a perfect way to start out my month of love!  With the Lovings!

This month I will be featuring love stories that are personal in nature as well as notorious, such as the story of the “Lovings“.  If you click on the link, you can get the full details, much more than I am giving you here, and by the proper source.  It’s most interesting.

These two young people fell in love back in 1958 and traveled to Washington D. C. to get married because it was illegal in Virginia.  When they returned home to their native state, after only five weeks of marital bliss, the police barged into their home in the middle of the night (that was when we didn’t lock our doors… EVER) and arrested them (after they woke them up by shining a bright flashlight in their faces and asking them why they were in bed together).

I remember a similar love story here in my home town right around that time, perhaps in the early 60s.  One of the young girls here fell in love with an African-American and married him.  It was a huge scandal.  Everyone talked about it at the supper table; everyone was shocked.

Hmmm.  Reminds me of the scandal I created when my late husband and I were dating and eventually married; he being much younger than I; he being a “wild thang”; me, not so much.

She and her husband lived in another town, so we didn’t see them often.  They now have beautiful, grown children and are still married.  I love that love story.