feelin’ the love

heart stories

Commitment

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Commitment

                      By Brenda Byassee for the Wedding of Wes and Amanda, 2001

Written as a Tribute to the Marriage of Jack and Charlene Martin

                                                                                                                           

Commitment begins like a spring,

Bubbling gently from the deep recesses of our souls.

It’s that first awareness of love,

A little frightening yet exhilarating.

The first look of recognition as your eyes meet across the room.

It’s that first decision in your heart.

                                                                                                                           

Commitment ever so slowly rises to the surface,

And pools there,

Prodding, pushing, moving, changing

From that first bubbling of the spring into a beautiful pond.

                                                                                                                           

It’s the knowledge that she’s the one;

That certainty that you want to share the rest of your life with him;

That feeling of deep caring and passion;

The seeking of God’s will and God’s ways.

The ripples in the pond of commitment

Stretch and test its boundaries

Causing the growth of a deeper, fuller lake:

Honor, respect, enduring love, forgiving heart, pride in each other.

                                                                                                                           

And so it goes with commitment,

Until one day its ocean waves

Tell the story of those promises kept, trials met,  joys felt,

Love unfolded.

                                                                                                                           

The waves rise strong and fierce

Remembering when two became one.

They pound with passion

Roaring their presence.

                                                                     

Then, settling into a steady, rhythmic roll,

They move swiftly, overlapping,

So busy in their journey:

Children, jobs, conflicts.

                                                                     

Until, finally, they wash gently ashore

As the stronger cares for the weaker,

No longer remembering

There once was two.

Our Wedding Day

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October 17

To James On Our Wedding Day

By Brenda Byassee

And so the morning dawned,
breaking into day.
The music with its melody
had a thousand things to say.
It started with a timid tune,
an underlying current,
of whispered joy and promises.
Nothing could deter it.
The beat became a steady one –
the hushed chords growing stronger
until the song of love sang out,
and they were two no longer.

the happy bride

the happy groom

“There were bells on the hill,
but I never heard them ringing.
No, I never heard them at all…
Till there was you.
There was love all around
But I never heard it singing…
Till there was you.”

our first kiss as Mr. and Mrs.

A Fairytale Love Story: Prince Ranier and Grace Kelly

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Princess Rainer and Princess Grace

In searching for just the right love story, I came upon this blog: Decor To Adore.  She has the most awesome pictures and tells the whole story of Prince Ranier marrying Grace Kelly.  In order to give credit where credit is due, I am not going to write what Decor To Adore has already written but instead will direct you to her blog.  You won’t be disappointed.

I fell in love with Grace Kelly when I was very young.  And as most young girls, was awed and wowed with the story of her moving off to a foreign country to become a princess.  Today, in my years of gained wisdom, I realize it was probably, as Alfred Hitchcock said, one of her best roles.

It doesn’t matter to me.  I still love the love story.

A Loving Story

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TheLovingStoryPoster: to debut February 14

Back in January, right after Martin Luther King, Jr.’s Birthday, this story popped up on Yahoo.  It was perfect for my February month of love stories.  What a perfect way to start out my month of love!  With the Lovings!

This month I will be featuring love stories that are personal in nature as well as notorious, such as the story of the “Lovings“.  If you click on the link, you can get the full details, much more than I am giving you here, and by the proper source.  It’s most interesting.

These two young people fell in love back in 1958 and traveled to Washington D. C. to get married because it was illegal in Virginia.  When they returned home to their native state, after only five weeks of marital bliss, the police barged into their home in the middle of the night (that was when we didn’t lock our doors… EVER) and arrested them (after they woke them up by shining a bright flashlight in their faces and asking them why they were in bed together).

I remember a similar love story here in my home town right around that time, perhaps in the early 60s.  One of the young girls here fell in love with an African-American and married him.  It was a huge scandal.  Everyone talked about it at the supper table; everyone was shocked.

Hmmm.  Reminds me of the scandal I created when my late husband and I were dating and eventually married; he being much younger than I; he being a “wild thang”; me, not so much.

She and her husband lived in another town, so we didn’t see them often.  They now have beautiful, grown children and are still married.  I love that love story.

Looking for Lovers

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The symbol of love

Next month I want to write about great loves.  I already have a few, but I would like one for every day.  Would you like to share some pics and your story with me?  Or do you have a couple who immediately comes to mind?  I want all kinds of great love stories.  Not just those that fit in the square box.

Send me an email at:  aprons_appetites@yahoo.com.

Giving It Back

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Brenda from Kenya

‎”If you can’t hold children in your arms, please hold them in your heart.”

Mother Clara Hale

Isn’t she just the cutest little thing?  This is my sister’s adopted daughter via Trinity Global Development, a group their church is affiliated with.  Dar gives a set amount of money each month and can send Brenda (I LOVE her name) gifts as well.

Wasana Supan in Thailand

And here is my little adopted daughter!  I met her through World Vision.  Before her was a young boy who has now grown old enough to  exit the program.  I send $30 a month and can send small gifts such as stickers, a bracelet, anything that will fit in a 5×7 envelope.

My friend, Crystal, has at least one child she has adopted through World Vision, and my friend, Sarah, has a child she has adopted through the organization Only Believe Ministries.  It is a local organization that is in the process of raising the money for an orphanage.  A great group to plug into!!

These are just three organizations.  There are many.  We can help children in our own homeland to those far away.

I am blessed.  And I want to give it back.

What about you?

Remembering

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Today is January 19.  That same day in 1970 a baby boy was born.  And today he would have been 42 years old.  Here’s to remembering a great guy!

Truly a man among men!

All these photos came out of scrapbooks I had made several years ago.  Hope the backgrounds and the extra feet, etc., don’t distract.

We had a great time that year.

I love this picture. Look at those beautiful eyes!!

JJ and Daren

I miss you.

ah, that sweet smile

Prom

SUCH a stinker!!

And what more can I say?

Sweet Sam

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Well, it’s not tomorrow, if you read my last post.  But it is Sam’s day to shine.  And he does love to shine.

Sam summer 2009

This pic was a couple of years ago, but it portrays his sweet little smile that he still has today.  Although, this picture does show his mouth closed which never happens.  He talks nonstop.

On our way home from K.C., as he sat way back in the far back seat, he asked his Mawmaw, who had driven the whole trip, why she had to do all the driving and Gigi was just sitting there.  See how thoughtful he is?  Then he proceeded to tell us how unfair that was and all Gigi was doing was just lying around.  I had to save my reputation and explain that I had to take care of little Ava so I really couldn’t drive.  I don’t think he bought it.

Sam is a special gift to me from God as well.  If you read my last post, you saw that 2001 was a bad year, but in 2002 God gave me little Jack.  Then the next year, in 2003, we were all busy getting ready for Jack’s first birthday which kept me from dwelling on the anniversary of my husband’s death, as well as all the other things that were occurring within my family.  Then in the latter part of 2003, Julie (bless her heart) was pregnant again.  Another baby due the last of April!  Yippee.  Another surprise since they chose to let the sex be kept a secret from them once again.

And once again, in March of 2004, five weeks early, Julie had to go into delivery with Sam.  Another wonderful distraction from sad memories.  This time I didn’t make it in time for the birth, just barely missing it,  and so the evening was filled with anticipation and eagerness to get there, phone calls back and forth.  “Do we have a baby yet?  What do you think it’s going to be?”  And once again, the little fella came five weeks early, on March 12, the exact date of my husband’s death only two years previous.   And once again around the exact same time as my husband lay dying, my little nephew was being born.  A gift to me from God.

Little Sam fell as in love with me as I was with him, just as Jack had done.  My life was again filled with a baby, a new little life, plus the added delight of a two-year-old Jack. Such wonderful distractions from sad situations.  And once again my sister and Julie shared their little bundles of joy with me.

So for the four years after the death of my husband, on each anniversary of that death, a little life was born or a celebration of that little life was taking place.  These two boys have been God’s blessing to me… and at this time of thankfulness, I am so thankful for them.

My Sweet Jack and Sam

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The sister and I took a day trip to the doc today, getting all kinds of tests taken and blood vaccuumed from our veins.  Next week is the return trip to see how healthy/not-so-healthy we are.  Let’s hope it turns out better than today’s extraordinarily long day–maybe she will allow me to tell you about it later — however, we did swear each other to absolute secrecy.

But the whole point of that little intro (because we talked about them) was to bring up my nephews, Jack and Sam.  I’m sure I have mentioned them before and maybe even why they are so special to me, but today I am going to tell you again because today I am counting them as one of my greatest blessings and am most thankful this month for the little boogers.

Sam and Jack Easter 2011

The year 2001 at approximately 5:00 in the evening on March 12 my husband died.  And I was devastated.  Exactly one year later, little Jack was born.  And here’s the story…

The week of March 12, 2002, I took off three days of work because I knew I wouldn’t be able to concentrate at work.  It was the anniversary of my husband’s death, and the year had been extremely rough for me.  In January of 2002 my mini-breakdown, as I call it, was only appeased by a trip to the Eagle’s Nest (another awesome story for another day).  By March I was back at the regular grind of learning to live without parts of me or, in other words, great grief.  The only way I can express to you how grief feels is to say it is like losing parts of your body, say, a leg and having to learn to live without that part, learning to walk all over again.  Knowing the days around March 12 were going to be tough ones, I prepared and took time off from work.

My sister’s daughter-in-law was pregnant at that time, due the middle of April, but on March 11 Darla calls and says, “Julie’s water broke; we’re going to the hospital.”  Oh, my!  That’s at least five weeks early!!  I jumped in my vehicle and met them on the highway, being the lead vehicle, honking at people to move their slow butts out of the way (the contractions were getting closer and by golly she wanted that epidural!).  We had to get there in time for the epidural!!  It just so happened that the 11th came that year on the same day of the week that James died, not the date, but the day of the week.  I had been reliving all the events.  Until Dar called.

As we raced to the hospital and waited for him to be born, I forgot about everything else.  Wes, the uncle-to-be, was there with the video camera interviewing all of us.  “What do you think it’s going to be?  Girl?  Boy?”  Davy and Julie had chosen to be surprised at birth instead of finding out from the sonogram what the sex would be.  That made it doubly exciting!  Wes had all sorts of neat things on that video, fun things, and we were all so eager.

Not until it was all said and done did we realize that little Jack had been born at the same time my husband had been dying only a year earlier.  What had been destined to be a heart-wrenching evening had turned into one of joy and thanksgiving.  A gift from God to me.

Jack summer 2009

From the first moment that little fella was put in my arms, he loved me.  He wanted me even when his Momma was around or his Mawmaw.  And even though Jack was my sister’s first grandchild, she gave him up to me, letting him love on me instead of her many, many times.  And even though Jack was his Momma’s first-born son, she gave him up to me, to let him love on me many, many times.

How can I express my thankfulness to God for these women?  How can I make you understand how special a gift that was to me in a time I was losing every person I loved to death or mental illness or drugs?  What can I possibly say to convey the depth of aloneness that was relieved by this little baby’s hand grasping mine and his great love and longing he had for me?

My gratitude to God for this precious gift He gave me, even though his sweet Momma had to give birth five weeks early for me to get it/him on the day I needed, is deep.  I will not understand this life until I get to Heaven; it is too complex; there are too many contradictions.  Why does something bad happen or something wonderful happen?  When I was yelling and screaming and mad at God, He finally had a little talk with me, through chapters 38-41 in the Book of Job, and told me to stop.  I’ll let you read it and see what He said.

Tomorrow… Sweet little Sam.

My Rainbow Day

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Today was a rainbow day.  One of those days where the future looks good; the rain has gone and the promise has come, spreading joy across the sky.

Kate posing with her rainbow painting she painted on the screened-in porch

Kate wanted to paint because her Uncle Nate and I were painting the kitchen, so I mixed her up some red, green, blue, and yellow paint (made with water and a little food coloring) and gave her a paint brush.  She painted away for quite awhile, and then very excitedly ran to the kitchen door to tell me to come look what she had painted.  It was a rainbow.  A rainbow that brought a promise of happy things for my little granddaughter: a sound mind, a curiosity that will lead her to a fulfilling career, an excitement for creating, a joy that comes from God.

Her next job was photographing various objects around the house.  She’s very careful with my good camera (although I do keep saying things, like, “Be careful with my camera.”)  She had me as a photography assistant as she was doing the photo shot of her Barbie bike.  My job was to follow orders and move the handle bars just so-so in order for her to get a good shot.

the bell on her Barbie bike

the wheel of her Barbie bike

There were several close-up shots of the Barbie bike bell.  I am going to have to get a video camera in order to get her doing all this stuff.  It is just so funny.  She will take a picture, look at it on the camera, and say, “That was a good one.”

Nate and I could see the flash going off like crazy in the living room, just one after another.  I couldn’t imagine what she was photographing!  It was a big mess in there with everything from the kitchen in the living room.  Kate’s photo shoot was filled with things that caught her interest, things that she liked.  She would place them just the way she wanted them, and snap photos.  It turns out there was a whole series of my antique dishes in the chiffarobe my brother had altered into a glass-doored cabinet.

she took a picture of every shelf on each side! she loves those dishes!

Kate has a lot of her Greatgreataunt Gladys and Gigi in her. She loves fake flowers. I can envision her yard full of them now.

Kate loves jewels.  She can find them among the rocks at school.  And she finds them all over the place at my house.  Not real jewels, of course, but nevertheless, to her adventurous, imaginative little self those fake flowers, my oh-so-neat dishes and little tea spoons, her toys, my ink pens are all jewels to her.  And she is my jewel.

Kate's close-up of her jewel. She adores jewels and is always on the look-out for them.

We yelled at her to come and take our picture.

Nate getting photographed

Nate and me

There were other reasons this was a rainbow day.  Church was good; the dinner at church was delicious; getting my kitchen ready for the new flooring and appliances tomorrow was satisfying; and spending time with my son doing something constructive, with pleasant conversation, having a normal day was just rainbow.  I’ve been cheated out of those days; days that I will never get back and harbor resentment in my heart and soul that they are lost to me.  (That’s another story for another day.)

But on this rainbow day, I will rejoice in those everyday, humdrum things that people take for granted: spending a day with a child and/or grandchild, working, talking, laughing.