Our Best Gift for Christmas this Year!

Some years are just better than others.  This is one of those years.  Good things are happening to make us smile.  And this little gal is one of the best:Nia Nia, Maci, Owen

Her name is Nia Martin, the daughter of Wes and Amanda Martin, born the 6th (I think) of November.  She has grown so much in just a month!

We love her beyond words.  Her brother and sister are totally in love with her!  The cousins especially love her.  Sam told his daddy that he is even willing to give up all his Christmas presents this year if they can get a baby like Nia. As the boys were discussing this with their Mawmaw Dar, she pointed out that not all babies are as good as Nia is.  And Jack piped in that they sure wouldn’t want to end up with one like Maci.  The screamer.  Ms. Bossy Britches. Lover of Little Nia.Maci and little Nia

Maci and Baby NiaWho knows?  Maybe with a little tutoring Nia will turn out just like her big sister Maci, and the boys won’t quite be so happy with her then.Owen, Sam, and Nia


Time Doesn’t Heal All Wounds…It Just Fades the Memory

Since 2001 my life is centered around his birthday in January, his death in March, and Thanksgiving and Christmas without him.  Yeah, I know.  That’s a long time.  Just yesterday really.  Trauma has a way of changing the timing and the color of one’s world… forever.

This is March, the month he died, the day I live again and again and again.  I suppose I will till the Alzheimer’s kicks in.  I remember the last phone conversation we had that day.  Oh, why didn’t he work as late as he said he was going to?  I would have been home first.

I remember the morning, his last goodbye to me.  He always got up really early to drive the truck; then would stop by later in the morning and make sure I was up.  Our last phone conversation; he was planning on fixing supper.  He had the most gorgeous voice.

The phone call as I was coming home from work.  Something was wrong, even though my friend only said to stop by the house before I went home, but I tried not to believe that gut-wrenching premonition.  The speedometer reached at least 90; I’m sure faster.

Hearing the words; feeling my heart stop; going into shock.  Seeing yet not understanding what all was going on: the police cars, lights, ambulance, people everywhere.

When I saw the ambulance, I started to get out.  That’s the ambulance; he’s still here.  And hearing the ones protecting me tell me not to go; the medics were trying to keep his blood pressure stable.  Okay.  That makes sense.  He might become agitated.  Better not go then.  But why aren’t they leaving? Waiting for the Lifeflight that came too late.

All of a sudden we are at the old high school.  The helicopter is finally here.  And before I can get out of the car, again, I am told to stay in the car, go on to the hospital.  Oh, all right.  Good.  I will be there when he gets there.  Only he didn’t.

Driving to the hospital.  Surrounded by friends and my daughter.  Hearing the phone ring; then hearing the words “Turn around.”  I can’t breathe.  I have to get out of this car.  So I open the door to step out, step out of the fast-moving vehicle on the busy highway, and my friend grabs my arm, to protect me, keep me safe.  You let go of me right now!  And in her shock, she does.  As I open the door, the car is swung off the road and stopped.

I run.  I run away from reality.  There is a field, with a pond, a cool pond that will take me away,  past reality, a place I can run into.  Only my daughter stops me, crying, saying she needs me.  And I need her. We need each other this night of death.

All these many years later, time gone by, the memories are tattooed on my heart and embedded deep within my brain.  Each word said by each person a video popping up to be played year after year.  Faces on a collage of memory.

No, time doesn’t heal all wounds.

My Witch Heart Loves Halloween

Halloween is right around the corner.  I’m sure it is because everything has been out since, oh, July or so.  And Christmas is right behind it because there are Christmas shelves and shelves and shelves in the stores containing all sorts of decorations and toys.  If I blink my eyes, I’m sure to miss it.  It’s that close!!  Isn’t it?

I was at Cracker Barrel tonight and just couldn’t decide.  Do I buy Halloween stuff or Thanksgiving stuff or Christmas stuff.  I looked all over for Easter stuff but didn’t see any.  I am amazed at how much stuff Cracker Barrel can pack into that little store.  But it’s such cool stuff!

There was an enchanted broom (click on link to see pic) that follows people around.  I absolutely had to have it!!  I can hardly wait to scare the snot out of the little kids that come for Trick or Treat.  I love Halloween!

Sometimes I feel as though I shouldn’t, with all the emphasis put on the devil nowadays, but I do.  It’s probably my favorite holiday.  And the reason it’s my favorite holiday is because it’s just fun.  Everyone’s in a good mood, laughing and visiting as they walk the neighborhood, although the Trunk and Treat move is sort of destroying the whole Trick or Treat spirit.  Oh, I’m sure they have the same camaraderie as do the rest of us who sit in our yards or houses and wait for the princesses and ghouls and other various superheros and monsters to come by.  It was just so much fun as a kid to wander all over town and knock on those doors and say “Trick or Treat!”

Even though the other major holidays hold a deep meaning in my heart, they are usually fraught with the burden of buying gifts, the sadness of loved ones not around, the lonesomeness of those with no one close, or the hustle and bustle to “get ‘er done so we can move to the next stop.”  It saddens me that Christmas and Easter have become as pagan as Halloween once was hundreds of years ago.  So I will always love Halloween.  It gives me a chance to be a kid again while I enjoy the kids and their families that walk with them.

Up next:  pics of Halloween Past from the Byassee archives.