On Halloween night to greet all the trick or treaters, I will be wearing this:

… only I will have a shawl covering the flabby arms with some really cool fingerless gloves and an awesome hat.

I will also have these in my mouth:

If you click on the picture, it will get larger, and you can see that they are supposed to be smaller and sexy.  (cough, cough)  I do not think sexy is going to be in my vampire costume equation.  They are small and will fit in my mouth with the aid of some kind of plastic goo that will harden just right (unless you leave it in too long) thus giving me the ability to take the teeth out easily and reinsert them easily.  Or at least that’s the plan.  I will probably wind up at the dentist office with a drill trying to get vampire fangs out of my mouth.

Last but not least, these will be on my fingers.

I think they come with stick-on paper, so I will probably have black fingernails all over the yard by the time it’s over.  They could be glued with that fake fingernail glue, but then I would probably be at the manicurist right after the dentist.

Tonight I find out that my daughter had already bought the exact same teeth and a vampire costume.  I forgot to ask if she had also gotten the fingernails.

So be careful… vee vill suuuck your bloooood!!  We have the teeth for it!