A Firsts Party

Today I went to a Firsts party.  Well, it wasn’t called that; it was called a baby shower.  But there were just so many firsts going on that all I could think of was it should have been called a Firsts party.

What firsts?

Mommy and baby

Well, the new mommy with the precious little baby girl on the way.  The little baby girl that already has so many cute little clothes and other baby gadgets and gizmos that I can’t wait for her to get here.

Of course, a new baby means a grandma, and this is the first time my friend is going to be a grandma!  A first-time mom and a first-time grandma.

going to be grandma

She said today that she was going to need lessons on how to be a grandma from me and Dar, but I told her it comes naturally.

grandma love look

The first time she sees that precious little girl she will push Momma out of the way and grab that baby!  She will forget she even has a daughter of her own because she will be in such awe and love of that new little life.

My friend’s other daughter is also having a first:  her first year of college away from home.  She’s been over to the college, done all the orientation, got her room ready to roll (I assume), and will be leaving next month.

bring on the books!

I think she’s excited at the same time that she is a little anxious.  It’s hard to leave your home… especially with a little niece going to make her arrival soon.

So now the circle of firsts begins anew.  From that first breath to her first steps all the way to her first apartment/dorm room of her own to her first baby… and eventually

oh, yeah. That's what I'm talkin' about!

bring it on!




“I Was Born to Take Care of You”

James worked three jobs: driving a truck, driving a bus for the school, and being the youth leader at church.  He also began college again, having quit in his younger days, standing up in class and speaking out for his beliefs.  He wasn’t afraid to tackle a difficult situation, conversation, or project… or relationship.  James was a busy man.  But his No. 1 job was to take care of me.  And anyone that knows me knows that is a full-time job.  He would get my Bible and my treats for my Sunday School children all ready (he was always on time and had it together) and stand in the bathroom doorway, leaning his shoulder against the doorjamb, watching me finish with make-up.  I would say, “I’m hurrying,” and he would reply, “Just take your time; I like watching you.”  He was the husband the Bible talks about when it tries to teach us how to interact as husband and wife.  If he told me once, he told me a thousand times, “I was born to take care of you.”

Beauty and the Beast

He did take care of me.  He was a neat, orderly person; everything had a place and it should be kept there.  I am a slob and drove him nuts, so he taught me and encouraged me and showed me how to be orderly and how good it feels to be orderly.  He took care of the yard, the pool, the vehicles, cooked, washed clothes, cleaned.  Anything I could do, quite literally, he could do just as well or better.

James and Brenda

He didn’t need me.  He loved me.

And he loved my children.  Even though they were older, he still felt a responsibility toward them and had concern about their lives.  My youngest son was no exception, my youngest son who had finally been diagnosed with schizophrenia, my youngest son whose behavior became more and more absurd, my youngest son who would eventually take the life of the man who understood him the most.


James had done research about schizophrenia for his college classes and would call and talk to the doctors concerning my son’s illness, the medications, the subsequent hospitalizations, doing what he could to get the help needed, the help that never came, the help that could have saved his life.

Yes, I am still angry.