The point of the picture above is not to show you how yucky the solar cover looks or how in need of repair the slide is.  It is to show you the stinking bird!

These stinking birds, which I think are starlings, have decided the pool is their big bird bath or party place.  Not only do they wake me up at 4:00 a.m., they crap all over the place (no, not the same ones that crapped on me).  Which reminds me.  I’ve had two near misses.

What is going on here?  I feel like I’m in the movie The Birds by Alfred Hitchcock.  That was the scariest movie!  I still think about that movie and only watched it once decades ago.  I got poop bombed on Easter, and ever since I have had bird episodes (along with my falling and hurting myself, of course).

The other day as I was walking through the parking lot a big splat of bird dung landed right beside me.  I was in an open parking lot.  And it lands right beside me?  Yesterday as I was sitting on the back step watching the girls in the pool and wishing I had a BB gun to shoot those stinking birds that were lighting on the solar cover, not two inches away was another big splat of you guessed it:  bird doodoo.

Now, I suppose I should be happy that the bird caca (bet you had no idea there were so many shyttie words out there, did you?) did not land on me again, but that only  makes me live in fear of the potential next hit.  I know they are toying with me, keeping me off guard.

So I am going to fight back.  This week I am going to get a BB gun.  And I will delightfully scoop their dead bodies off the solar cover.

Due to the fact that they eat mosquitoes, these, however, may stay: