My Panties are Ready for Jimmy Buffett

an older version

Several, several years ago my friend Terry and I went to a Jimmy Buffett concert.  It was awesome!

I am and have been secretly in love with Jimmy Buffett as far back as I can remember.  I love his smile, his twinkly eyes, his voice, his songs… (sigh).  I want to meet him and kiss him just one time.  Only a peck, of course, because he is now married and has been for quite awhile.  I was heart-broken when he got married!

At the time of the particular concert with Terry (I’ve been to others) we came up with a plan.  Instead of throwing some flimsy pair of sexy thong underwear up on stage, I would throw a big, nice pair of white, cotton Momma panties.  You know, the kind that comes up past your waist and covers every smidgen of butt cheek.  I would put my name, phone number, and address in the crotch.

young Jimmy

We would get seats that were right up front, and right at the most strategic time in his song, I would haul off and throw those babies up there at the stage.  With any luck at all… they would hit him right in the schnoz!  Or maybe up side the head.  Oh, I envision all sorts of delightful landing places for my big Momma panties.

Those suckers would be hard to overlook.  A person may have to even crawl their way out of them lest they suffocate!  He would look at them and see my name boldly emblazoned in the crotch.  An invite if I ever saw one!!!

They would look something like this, only pristine white, maybe smell a little like bleach.

Jimmy Buffett panties

The Tank

propane tank

One of these little darlings is sitting on my deck as I blog.  It’s bigger than I thought but not so big that it takes up that much room.  The city cut me off, you know.  I didn’t pay my $10 bill in a timely manner; pretty sure it was at least one day after the two-week-pay-or-off-with-your-head gas date.  I knew they were doing it with the water but didn’t think they were doing it with the meter rental which is what I pay in the summer months.  So when they said it was $75 to have it turned back on, I told them to just plug it or get the meter or whatever they have to do because I wasn’t paying that and promptly went home and called the propane gas company to bring me a tank or two:  one for the house for the stove and one for the garage for the couple of months I use it in the winter.

After the guys came with the tanks, we all realized I only needed one.  Well, actually the dude that knows what he’s talking about realized it, and then I saw the flame light.  So it sits out by the garage instead of right by the back screen door which is very nice.

I need to paint it with a summer scene.

summer scene

Rolling Stones mouth

Or Rolling Stones mouth.

Michelangelo's David

Or naked men.


Or a big Margarita and flip-flops.