an older version

Several, several years ago my friend Terry and I went to a Jimmy Buffett concert.  It was awesome!

I am and have been secretly in love with Jimmy Buffett as far back as I can remember.  I love his smile, his twinkly eyes, his voice, his songs… (sigh).  I want to meet him and kiss him just one time.  Only a peck, of course, because he is now married and has been for quite awhile.  I was heart-broken when he got married!

At the time of the particular concert with Terry (I’ve been to others) we came up with a plan.  Instead of throwing some flimsy pair of sexy thong underwear up on stage, I would throw a big, nice pair of white, cotton Momma panties.  You know, the kind that comes up past your waist and covers every smidgen of butt cheek.  I would put my name, phone number, and address in the crotch.

young Jimmy

We would get seats that were right up front, and right at the most strategic time in his song, I would haul off and throw those babies up there at the stage.  With any luck at all… they would hit him right in the schnoz!  Or maybe up side the head.  Oh, I envision all sorts of delightful landing places for my big Momma panties.

Those suckers would be hard to overlook.  A person may have to even crawl their way out of them lest they suffocate!  He would look at them and see my name boldly emblazoned in the crotch.  An invite if I ever saw one!!!

They would look something like this, only pristine white, maybe smell a little like bleach.

Jimmy Buffett panties